My wife, Natalya Spicer, passed away today, March 1, 2020, at 7:12 am Pacific time. She leaves behind 3 young boys, CJ, Leo, and Alex, myself, and her parents. She was their only child. If you feel led to contribute to our GoFundMe, please do so here: gf.me/u/xjfyjn . We thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Dan 3:17-18

I wrote the below post the day before. But I felt like there was a reason to not post it on that day:

My wife is dying. I find it hard to focus on development. When I started this blog, I talked about passion, and how a person’s passion is formed by the events they go through in life, and at some point, the sum total of all a person’s experiences kind of hits a critcal mass and you find your passion. When you are young, life changes your mind. When you are older, your mind changes life. But sometimes something happens that resets your whole person. For me, if my wife dies, that will reset me. I don’t know who I’m going to be after that. My core character traits – my bones – will transfer over to that new person. But I don’t know what skin and muscles are going to be on that new person.

I believe that my wife can be healed by the power and the Name of Jesus. But I don’t know the future, and should she die, I don’t know what will happen to me. Will I be half the man I used to be, or will tragedy refine me in some unpredictable way?

I usually keep my personal affairs out of my developer’s blog. The primary reason I make games is to have some sort of impact on the players. I have a compassion for my players. I love listening to them, answering their emails, and thinking about them while I design games. Even though I run it like a business, designing games is a matter of the heart. And so including the news of my wife’s disease is also a matter of the heart. I can’t really keep it separate. It will affect Grindcraftia in some manner.

Thanks for reading.